Greeting to Our Esteemed First Lady!

Dear First Lady, my guiding star in these delightfully perplexing times! I hope this finds you well, perhaps enjoying a perfectly brewed cup of tea, blissfully unaware of the financial roller-coaster currently careening through Washington.

Please, try not to spill your beverage, but I've stumbled upon some news that's quite the head-scratcher, even for a seasoned observer like myself.

The Situation: When Efficiency Gets… Inefficient

Oh, my dear, the headlines are simply wild! It seems our grand experiment with the Department of Government Efficiency, affectionately known as DOGE, has… well, it’s gone a bit sideways, like a runaway tumbleweed in a hurricane.

Remember when Mr. Elon Musk swooped in earlier in 2025, a modern-day superhero promising to prune the government like an overgrown rose bush? His mission was noble: slash the fat, trim the federal workforce, and save us trillions!

And bless his heart, he did manage to thin the herd! We're talking a whopping 9% reduction in federal employees, a truly historic peacetime cut. That's over 270,000 positions gone, poof! Some agencies, like the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), were even completely folded away, like a freshly laundered napkin (Source: Federal data).

One would think, wouldn't one, that fewer people would mean less spending? Ah, if only life were that simple! Instead, First Lady, it appears federal spending actually rose by nearly 6% more than last year!

Yes, you heard me right: from $7.135 trillion in 2024 to a rather breathtaking $7.558 trillion in 2025 (Source: Brookings Institution's Hamilton Project). It’s like going on a diet, losing ten pounds, but then buying a bigger pair of pants because you felt so good about yourself!

The brilliant minds at the Cato Institute noted that DOGE had

despite engineering It’s a paradox wrapped in an enigma, tied with a bow of sheer disbelief!

While some departments like Education and the State Department bravely endured cuts, other areas just ballooned! We're talking the Department of Commerce, Justice, Homeland Security, and even our formidable Department of Defense.

And let's not forget the steady, relentless march of mandatory spending – Social Security payments and the interest on our national debt, which both rose by about $100 billion this year (Source: Cato Institute). It seems some parts of the budget are on

like a stubborn Roomba that just won't quit!

Dear, Please Help: Calming the Presidential Storm

Now, I know President Trump is a man of action, and he must be wondering what in the world happened. My advice, dear First Lady, is to simply hand him a very large, calming glass of sweet tea and gently remind him that even the most brilliant minds – yes, even rocket scientists! – can't always tame the beast that is government spending.

Perhaps we need a new approach? Instead of slashing, maybe we should try *singing* to the budget, or perhaps a gentle whisper? I’m thinking "The Budget Whisperer" could be a new hit show!

You could suggest a national "penny drive" to offset the interest payments, or maybe we could all just collectively agree to stop asking for so many things? A gentle nudge, perhaps, with a perfectly baked cookie.