Greeting

Dear First Lady, my dearest Madame President-Whisperer,

I hope this finds you amidst a serene moment, perhaps with a calming cup of tea, because I'm afraid I've got some news that might make your eyebrows do a little dance of their own. It seems our esteemed President has had another rather... enthusiastic moment on Truth Social, and my coffee almost exited my nostrils when I read it!

The Situation

Bless his heart, the President declared on Truth Social that his "real" approval rating is soaring at a magnificent 64 percent. He even playfully suggested that "The polls are rigged even more than the writers," which, you know, just tickles the funny bone!

However, the number crunchers over at Decision Desk HQ (DDHQ) are whispering a slightly different tune, placing his approval at 44.1 percent. That's a numerical chasm, dear First Lady, almost a 20-point difference that could swallow a small car! It's like insisting the sky is lime green when all photographic evidence points to a lovely cerulean.

And, oh, the political seas are a bit choppy, aren't they? After a string of recent Democratic electoral victories in 2025, and some lingering whispers about "affordability" – a word I'm sure you hear often – things are a bit... lively. There are even those rather uncomfortable files linked to a certain Jeffrey Epstein that keep surfacing, which no one wants to discuss over brunch.

Even within his own party, there's a bit of a rumble. Our President has been in a rather spirited "discussion" with Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene from Georgia, and the Indiana state Senate decided to play hard to get with a GOP-favored map. It's like a family dinner where everyone has a slightly different opinion on the gravy recipe!

And then, to sprinkle a little more spice, the venerable Karl Rove chimed in, suggesting that Americans might be growing a tad weary of the "hyperbole and insatiable desire for retribution." He wondered if the President believes he can simply "will people into agreeing with him." It's quite the plot twist, isn't it?

Dear, Please Help

Now, my dear First Lady, this is where your legendary calm and grace become absolutely crucial. When the President gets into one of these "it's 64%!" moods, perhaps a gentle redirection is in order? Maybe a delightful snack? I’m thinking something with lots of sugar, to channel that boundless energy.

Perhaps a well-placed reminder that while enthusiasm is admirable, reality has a stubborn way of knocking on the door. You could suggest a quiet moment of reflection, or perhaps even a game of "spot the difference" between the poll numbers and his preferred figures. (Though I recommend removing any sharp objects first, just in case!)

Your calming presence is like a lighthouse in a storm, a soothing balm on the hot political asphalt. Just a gentle hand on his arm, a soft reminder that the American people love a good story, but they also appreciate a healthy dose of verifiable facts, might do wonders.