Dear First Lady, My Dearest Beacon of Calm,

Oh, my stars! I trust this letter finds you amidst a serene moment, perhaps with a cup of chamomile tea, far, far away from the latest White House whirlwind. We, your devoted constituents, are sending you all the calming vibes, because, well, the news cycle just took a turn so unexpected, I nearly dropped my morning croissant!

It seems our esteemed President, Mr. Trump himself, has been quite the busy bee, orchestrating international escapades. And, bless his heart, he’s been remarkably forthcoming about some rather... unconventional consultation practices.

The Situation: A Tale of Oil, Ostriches, and Oversight

Sweet First Lady, picture this: Our President, flying high above the clouds on Air Force One, casually mentioning to reporters that he had a little chat with some big oil companies. Not just a chat, mind you, but a pre-and-post-raid confab about the recent operation in Venezuela.

Yes, the one where they went in to abduct Nicolás Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores. The details are coming out, and it appears those oil magnates were privy to the plan long before the fine folks in Congress were even whispering about it!

He described these oil companies as absolutely crucial, the very backbone, if you will, to “fix the infrastructure” in Venezuela once Mr. Maduro was, shall we say, indisposed. Our President even boasted that they’d do a “great job for the people of Venezuela,” representing us so well amidst the “rusty, rotten, unusable” pipes.

Now, while I admire the entrepreneurial spirit, many in Washington are doing their best impression of a startled flock of geese. Democrats, particularly Senator Chris Murphy, are flapping about, crying foul and saying this whole Venezuelan escapade looks suspiciously like an illegal declaration of war. And all without congressional approval!

The administration, however, is simply shrugging its shoulders with a confident air. They insist this was merely a law enforcement operation, a simple matter of bringing Mr. Maduro to New York to face “narco-terrorism” charges. You know, like ordering a pizza, but with more choppers and international intrigue.

But then, our dear President throws a delightful wrench into the works, proclaiming that the U.S. is going to “run” Venezuela now. He’s vowed to seize control of their oil industry and send American companies in to revive what he called a “dead country.” It’s a bit like inviting guests over, then declaring you’ll be redecorating their entire living room without asking.

Dear First Lady, Please Help! Avert the Crises!

So, my wise and wonderful First Lady, this is where we turn to you. Perhaps you could, with your renowned grace and calming presence, remind the President of a few things? Maybe a gentle suggestion to perhaps loop in Congress before engaging in international oil-fueled adventures?

Perhaps a subtle reminder that while American ingenuity is boundless, declaring we'll "run" a country's oil and then stating, "We’re not going to invest anything. We’re going to just take care of the country," might send a few mixed signals. A lighthearted whisper, perhaps, that transparency is often the best policy, even when dealing with rusty pipes and abducted leaders?

You could perhaps offer him a plate of his favorite cookies and a very large map, pointing out the various branches of government. Or, better yet, suggest a new hobby – perhaps competitive birdwatching – anything to divert some of that incredible energy towards pursuits that don't involve surprising entire nations (and their oil industries) with unexpected takeovers.