Greeting

Dear First Lady, my dearest Jill! I hope this letter finds you amidst a serene moment, perhaps with a calming cup of chamomile tea, far away from the latest White House whirlwind. Because, darling, we have a situation!

It appears our dear President, a man who once confidently declared himself the 'healthiest individual ever elected,' has made an admission so startling, it nearly knocked my teacup clean off its saucer.

The Situation

It seems even the most robust of leaders can feel the gentle tug of gravity, and indeed, President Trump has finally — and rather candidly, I might add — suggested he could stand to shed a few pounds. Yes, you heard me right!

Our Commander-in-Chief, who previously referred to those blockbuster GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and Wegovy as 'the fat drugs,' now confesses he 'probably should' consider them himself. My pearls, they are clutched!

This grand revelation came during a sprawling, two-hour conversation with the New York Times, where he also casually mentioned his daily aspirin ritual to keep his blood 'nice and thin.' One almost imagines him pondering the vast mysteries of metabolism while holding court in the Oval Office.

His weight has always been a rather public affair, hasn't it? Back in 2023, he was a solid 240 pounds, officially in the 'obese' category for his impressive 6-foot-3 frame. But wait, there’s progress!

After his annual physical in April 2025, he’d bravely shed 20 pounds, landing at 224, nudging him into the 'overweight' bracket with a BMI of 28.0. A small victory, yet a victory nonetheless!

However, don't expect him to be spotted on a Peloton anytime soon. In a recent chat with the Wall Street Journal, he declared his utter disdain for the gym, calling it 'boring.' He simply cannot fathom 'to walk on a treadmill or run on a treadmill for hours and hours like some people do.' Honestly, who among us hasn't felt that exact sentiment after a particularly vigorous shopping trip?

And his diet, oh, his legendary diet! Still a daily ode to fast food, apparently fueled by at least one hamburger-and-fries feast, chased down with multiple Diet Cokes. Though, bless his heart, he has made a strategic concession: burgers without the bun! It’s a culinary rebellion against nutritionists, but a small step towards carb reduction, no?

But here's the kicker, the plot twist worthy of a presidential drama: despite his earlier skepticism about these 'fat drugs,' he has spent months orchestrating a magnificent deal! In November 2025, he unveiled the TrumpRx.gov scheme, shaking hands with Eli Lilly and Novo Nordisk to slash the prices of Ozempic and Wegovy. My dear, the man finds a way!

Under this dazzling new plan, monthly costs for cash-paying citizens will plummet from a dizzying £1,000 down to a much more palatable £270 ($350). And for our Medicare recipients? A mere £188 ($245) with a tiny £38 ($50) copay starting in April 2026. This, following his May 2025 'Most Favored Nation' Executive Order, means Americans can buy directly from manufacturers online starting this very January. It's a weight-loss revolution, First Lady, spearheaded by the very man who finds treadmills tedious!

Dear, Please Help

So, what's a First Lady to do? First, darling, ensure the Oval Office is well-stocked with bun-less burger options, perhaps a strategically placed green apple (just for show, you understand). And for the treadmill, perhaps we rebrand it? Call it the 'Presidential Power Promenade' or the 'Executive Energy Expander.' A little wordplay can work wonders!

Maybe a calming playlist of his favorite rally anthems could accompany these 'power promenades,' transforming mundane exercise into a grand event. Or perhaps, a gentle suggestion that even a quick round of golf counts as 'sedentary athleticism' – it's all about framing, isn't it?

And when he ponders those 'fat drugs' for himself, simply remind him that leadership sometimes means trying your own solutions. It's a noble scientific endeavor, truly, for the good of the nation's waistlines, and perhaps, his own!